


I Told You to be Patient (I Told You to be Kind)

by okaybi



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bisexual Harley Keener, Bisexual Shuri, Coming Out, Gay Peter Parker, Gen, Harley Keener Needs a Hug, Harley Keener-centric, Homophobia, Hurt Harley Keener, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, LGBTQ Themes, Pansexual Tony Stark, Protective Tony Stark, Shuri Is a Good Bro, Supportive Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Harley Keener's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, a little bit, harley keener gets a hug, no beta we die like men, the author is projecting, this is entirely self indulgent, tony giving harley the support i wish i got lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23462809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okaybi/pseuds/okaybi
Summary: This isn't really how Harley imagined he'd come out to his mom. He thought it'd be casual, that he'd be calm and collected. That's not exactly how it goes, and her reaction isn't necessarily what he expects.
Relationships: Harley Keener & Shuri, Harley Keener & Tony Stark
Comments: 5
Kudos: 174





	I Told You to be Patient (I Told You to be Kind)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, yesterday was kinda not great for me and so I started writing this, and then just decided to finish it. I'm not really happy with how it turned out, but I needed to vent so here we are. 
> 
> As they say, write what you know.
> 
> The title is lyrics from Skinny Love by Birdy, but also kind of a play on that bible verse "Love is patient, love is kind"

The first time he tells someone he's 16.

The lab is unusually quiet. It's just Harley and Shuri right now, working on separate projects. Neither of them are talking. There's no music blasting through the speakers. Peter's not sitting next to Harley and going on about school or Spider-Man or his new ideas. Tony isn't making coffee in the corner kitchen area and telling them to get to bed like the hypocrite he is. No, it's just them. Just them, comfortable silence enveloping the room. 

Shuri is bent over the lab table, brow furrowing in concentration. 

The words aren't meant to leave his mouth, not really. They've been vibrating in his head all day. Even when he distracts himself with science the words are _right there._ Harley's happy and smiling and they're banging against his cerebrum, demanding that he lets his thoughts out. 

"I think I'm bi," he says, begging any deity that may or may not exist that it's not a big deal. He doesn't think it will be, not with Shuri. That doesn't stop his heart from threatening to beat out of his chest and onto his worktable. 

"Bitch so am I," Shuri replies, gaze never leaving the gadget in front of her. 

Head spinning, Harley lets himself exhale. This is okay, he's okay. The thought that this isn't his secret anymore is overwhelming, leaves him stunned and staring down at his work trying to get his mind to focus on what he needs to do for his project. His sexuality is just another part of him. Another part of him, and he's sharing that part with Shuri, his best friend. Heart so full of content, Harley doesn't have any room for regret. 

Eventually, Shuri glances up at him, grinning brightly. "You wanna get off your ass and come help me with this?"

Harley smiles back. Makes his way to her side of her lab table. Shuri's shoulder bumps his gently and his smile widens.

Yeah, he doesn't regret telling her at all. 

* * *

He tells his family at 17, when there's two weeks left of the summer before his senior year. 

There's a pounding in his chest, loud and never ending and anxiety-inducing. Well, maybe it's the anxiety that led to the pounding and the pounding just served to make Harley more anxious. Leg bouncing, he tries to force himself to calm down but it's no use.

The dining room seems smaller than normal. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to stay seated, to keep himself from getting up and pacing the length of the room. Somehow, he manages. Abbie's sitting across from him, phone in hand and trying to smother a smile at whatever she's reading. His mom fills the chair beside him, texting one of her friends from out of town about when they can meet up again. Harley takes this all in, burns the image of the house and his family into his mind so it's always there, so that he'll never forget it.

Even if he never sees it again. 

"So I have a fun story," he begins, voice a little unsure. With both of their eyes on him, all of Harley's joking demeanor evaporates. He doesn't know why he's nervous, Harley's been talking to Shuri about doing this since he came out to her. Nevertheless, Harley drops his head, eyes boring into the table. "I'm.. I like girls," he starts with the easy part, the expected part, "and- and boys. I like girls and boys. I'm bisexual." He faces them again, sees Abbie smile a little and watches his mama look anywhere but at him. Nobody says anything. Harley's biting his lip, leg still going _up, down, up, down._ The action soothes him, the pattern familiar in the face of the unknown. 

"Are we good?" Harley asks, desperate to know. To know if he should finish packing that bag upstairs or if he can stay. To know if his mama hates him or if she's going to pull him into a hug. 

Nodding, Abbie grins. "Yeah, I'm good." Good, that's good, he'll always have Abbie. A constant pain in his ass but a loyal one, probably even if he was a wanted criminal.

Silence again. His mom doesn't say anything and Harley feels the overwhelming urge to cry, but he doesn't want to do that here. Standing, Harley grabs his laptop off the table and heads to his room.

"You don't have to leave."

Breath stuttering, Harley pauses but doesn't turn to look at her. If he sees her face with that detached look on it again there's no way he'll be able to hide the tears from them. "I'm just goin' to put up my laptop." And then he walks so fast he nearly runs out of the dining area, tears already creating paths down his cheeks. 

Sight blurry and a headache already forming, Harley pushes into his room and makes a beeline to his vinyls just so he has something to do, and maybe so he knows that someday it'll all be alright. Hopefully. Fingers digging for the right record, he eventually comes across The White Album. Without thinking, Harley takes it out of its sleeve and places it gently on his record player. He tries to start it at the beginning but his hands are shaking and he can't see past the tears in his eyes and he's in so much pain. 

_Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?_

Distantly, he's aware that this song is not the first of the album. Harley, though, is beyond caring. He throws himself onto his bed, breaths coming in gasping sobs. He can't even think right now, just wants to be able to breathe, wants to listen to this song and be anywhere but here. 

"Mama wants to talk to you." Abbie's head is poking past the door frame, her face set in a sympathetic frown. 

Harley, head buried in his pillow, tells her he'll be there in a minute. He waits for Abbie to leave before sitting up and wiping his eyes. 

When he gets to the living room his mama is sitting on the couch watching TV. She looks up, gestures for him to come sit with her. Once he's next to her she wraps her arms around him, and Harley tries to hold back the sob that's forming in his throat. 

"I love you," she says and this time he can't stop the noise that tears itself out of his throat because he wasn't expecting her to say that. "I love you, but I don't like this and I don't accept it."

Now Harley's breaking down for a completely different reason. Because this is _him,_ this is him and he feels like she's telling him that she doesn't like him and doesn't accept him. Despite wanting to be mad about this, his mom is offering him comfort even if she's hurting him with her words. This shouldn't do as much damage as it does; it could be worse, people go through worse. Unfortunately, emotions don't care about reason. Harley lets himself be held by her like he's a child again and he cries until he forces himself to move away. He pretends she didn't just push a knife into his heart and twist, pretends he's okay with her not being okay with him. 

Back in his room, he texts Shuri to tell him he did it, then he calls Tony and asks for a ride so he can spend the week up in New York. He knows Tony can hear the strain in his voice, knows he should just tell him what happened but he can't, so he doesn't. 

Shuri texts him back, saying she's proud of him and that T'Challa says he's proud too. He smiles even as more tears fall. 

Harley's in New York by mid morning the next day.

Tony's waiting for him when he steps off the plane. He doesn't say anything, just gives Harley a small quirk of his lips and goes to grab his bags. Before he can overthink it, Harley's burying his head in the crook of Tony's neck, arms wrapping tightly around him. The hand that's not holding Harley's duffel pulls Harley tighter into Tony's hold. The action makes Harley want to melt, to spill everything that happened the night before right then and there. 

"Thank you," Harley tells him instead, pulling back so they can head to the car. 

Placing a hand on his shoulder, Tony says seriously, "Any time, kid. Don't mention it." Then he cracks a grin. "Besides, you know I love having you here. Even if you are insufferable sometimes." 

Clutching his nonexistent pearls, Harley gasps. "Me? Insufferable? You're delusional in your old age, mechanic." 

"Just for that, you're not allowed in the lab this week," Tony says, laughing. Harley just hums disbelievingly. 

The drive to the tower is comfortable, they chat about mindless things. Tony mentions a new upgrade he wants to make to his armor; Harley asks if he can help work on Peter's spider suit while he's here. It goes on like that—both of them avoiding the obvious conversation—until they make it to their destination. 

They take the elevator all the way up to Tony's floor. Tony tells Harley that his room should be how he left it and to go settle in while he makes lunch. Once he throws his bag onto the floor of his room, Harley debates staying until Tony calls him back to the kitchen for food. Eventually, he decides that he doesn't want to be left alone with his thoughts right now, and joins Tony in cooking pasta. 

Lunch goes by quickly, almost like nothing is wrong at all. As if it's normal for Harley to call out of nowhere, just before school is about to start again no less, and ask Tony if he can stay with him. They tease each other and rant about science and trash talk Stark Industries' competitors. Normal interactions. And Harley knows that if he wants to he doesn't have to tell Tony anything. There won't be any pressing questions or subtle jabs about hiding things. They'll keep on in this manner all week. It's insane how safe that knowledge makes him feel, though it shouldn't be. He's always known that he's safe with Tony, the closest thing to an actual father figure he's ever had. 

After lunch, they go sit on the sofa and Tony puts on The Princess Bride, making Harley protest—just a little—outwardly. Inwardly, though, he's pleased because this movie cheers him up no matter the mood he's in, and apparently Tony's noticed. 

Which is how Harley finds himself silently crying as Wesley and Buttercup make their way through the Fire Swamp. He's so in awe that Tony cares enough to notice him, not only his attitude and the front he puts up to keep people happy, but the parts he tries not to let others see too often. 

A few minutes later, Tony sees Harley's shoulders shaking from trying to hold back his sobs. Tony reaches out, pulling Harley to him and holding him just this side of too tight. 

"It's okay," Tony whispers, mouth moving against Harley's hair, "It's okay. I don't know what happened, but you're safe here. Always, kid."

Harley chokes on another whine, hopelessly trying to hold himself together. Here, in this building with Tony easing his fears—fears he didn't even think Tony knew about—and no one around to hear him break, Harley thinks he's allowed to let it out. Wash out the hurt, and maybe let Tony reassure him. "She- Why isn't she proud of me?" Harley rasps out, "I just want her to be proud of me." Then his body is wracked with sobs once again and he can't think of a way to make it stop. He just wants it to stop, wants to go back to the peace that came from his mother's blissful ignorance. There's a wet spot growing on Tony's shirt from his tears, but when Harley tries to pull back Tony gets a better grip. Somewhere far away, Tony is murmuring placating words. 

They sit like that, for a while, probably. Harley isn't really keeping track of the time, but when he finally looks up again the sun is painting quite the picture against the New York City skyline. One of Tony's hands is running through his hair soothingly, the other resting on his back. Sitting up, Harley avoids eye contact, not sure if he's ready to explain why he was just getting tears and snot all over Tony's shirt. 

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Tony asks him. "If not, I won't push." 

Harley takes a deep breath, picks at the skin surrounding his fingernails. "I know you wouldn't. But I-" He cuts off, deciding he might as well get straight (ha) to the point. "I told my ma that I'm bisexual," he says, chin raising in defiance. Idly, he wonders where this confidence was the evening before. "She... Well, she said she loves me but she doesn't accept it, doesn't like it. I feel like she basically told me that she doesn't accept me, doesn't like _me_. Which is stupid, I grew up in the South, I know that could've gone much worse. I know that plenty of people have gone through worse, that I'm lucky she still loves me and that she didn't throw me out. But, it hurts." He digs the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to stop the tears. "It hurts and I don't know how to make it stop hurting. And she's not proud of me; Shuri and T'Challa said they're proud but she- She isn't." Harley sounds lost when he finishes his sentence, like he doesn't understand why this happened. 

A hand tips his chin up, turns his head, and forces him to meet Tony's eyes. "Harley, kid, I'm proud of you. You did good, and I'm so extremely proud of you." There's a moment of utter stillness. Then Harley dives back into Tony's arms, balling. That's all he wanted to hear, that someone—a parental figure—took pride in him, in his decision to come out. "And just because some people have had worse experiences, does not mean that yours is any less valid. You're allowed to be hurt by this." Harley doesn't exactly agree with that last part, but he doesn't voice it. 

"Am I disgusting?" He gasps out between hiccuping sobs. "Does she not like me because I'm unnatural?" It's a question he can't help but ask, something he needs to be answered, because what if the church was right and gay people are weird, disgusting, unnatural? 

Tony's hand rubs up and down his back lightly. "Shuri's bi, right? Do you think she's disgusting or unnatural for being bi?" 

"No," Harley mumbles, because she's _not._ Shuri's intelligent, hilarious, caring in her own way, but not any of those other things.

"What about Peter? Peter's gay, does he fit the description?"

"Definitely not." Peter is the definition of pure, a true sweetheart with his open mind and kind heart. 

"And me," Tony continues, even as Harley's head snaps up to stare at him, "I'm pansexual, am I any of those words?"

Harley shakes his head, eyes wide. "No, of course not."

Smiling slightly, Tony says, "Okay, then. You're not disgusting or unnatural for liking boys. It's normal, kid."

Humming, Harley leans back into Tony. He feels a kiss being pressed into his hair, and sighs in content. 

"This is nice," Harley tells him. At the end of the week, Harley will have to back to Rose Hill and face his mom. For now, though, he allows himself this vulnerability, with someone who loves him, someone who's proud of who Harley is. Maybe his mama will get fed up with his queerness, or ignore it altogether, but his relationship with Tony is never going to change. 

One day, Harley will be okay. It's going to take some work to get there. 

Even still, he's willing to fight for it. 


End file.
